Prague News

I have never been the biggest fan of Christmas. Sure, I like giving and receiving gifts and I don’t mind the occasional holiday party, but I have never been one of those people who needs to put up a tree, stockings, bake cookies and wear one of those awful sweaters while singing “God Bless Ye Merry Gentlemen”. For me Christmas is a few extra days off and the opportunity to eat, drink and sleep in.

I am not a Scrooge, but I just don’t care that much. I guess my favorite part of Tising the Season are the holiday movies. I love watching "A Christmas Story" and "It's a Wonderful Life", but then again I would watch them even if it wasn't Christmas. Maybe it was all of the years I spent in Choir – forced to start practicing Christmas carols in August. Or, maybe it was all that time spent working in retail. Not only did I have to listen to Christmas songs from about September on, I also got a front row seat in which to view the American people bubbling over with the holiday spirit. Nothing says Happy Holidays like three fat women arguing over one ugly sweater that probably won't be appreciated anyway. The spirit of consumerism is a far greater spirit than that of the Christmas variety. Holiday shopping brings out the worst in people. I have seen clerks spit on, yelled at and cursed out. Merry Christmas to you too jagoff! Just so you know, the people who help you at check out are not actual punching bags. They may look like it, but they are not. They have families as well, and have to go Christmas shopping the same as you. So, be kind. ok? They go home and tell stories about the assholes who yelled at them - that asshole could be you.

I guess I put my warning out a little late. This year it turned deadly. DEADLY! I am sure that you read about the poor security guy at the (evil) Wall-Mart who was trampled to death by people shopping on Black Friday. This man was such a NON ENTITY to people that they stepped on him until he died. That is fucking horrible. A literal doormat - and I don't mean that to be funny. I mean for you to think for a second about the mentality that those people had.

I am sure you also read about the shoot out in a Toys R Us store in California. Holy Baby Jesus! Can we take a moment here? A toy store? Of the many questions I have, the first is - why in the world did TWO people bring guns into a toy store? There is never a reason that would be ok. Alright MAYBE if it were a Zombie attack, but no other reason. Just what a kid needs to see while scoping out her list for Santa. Barbie and a dead guy. Got it.

As long as I can remember it has been like this. I remember my brother and I looking through the giant JC Penny catalog and circling every toy in it – and noting page numbers to Santa to avoid any confusion. I remember the year that people went crazy for the Cabbage Patch Kids doll and the first Tickle Me Elmo. Christmas has always been an American tradition of stuff. I probably would have never noticed if I hadn’t moved to Europe. My first Christmas here was three years ago and I received the following gifts: a bag of gummy bears, an orange and a burned CD of 80’s music. It will go down in my memory as one of the best Christmases I have ever had. Not because I got awesome gifts – but because it really was about all of us being together. We watched “A Muppet Christmas Carol” and looked at the lights on our tilty little tree. It was nice. Sure, the Czech people enjoy the holidays and buy gifts for each other, but not the way that we do. A husband and wife will buy each other ONE present. A child will not wake up to a dozen new toys, but two or three. And that is enough. The point of Christmas here is being together not buying stuff.

And this year for me will be no exception. I plan on spending my Christmas Eve singing Christmas Carol-oke at my favorite bar. I will splurge on Christmas Day and get a sweet treat (Trdlo) from the Christmas Market, and then enjoy Christmas Dinner with my misfit friends at said bar. And that is fine with me. Sure, I need curtains, sheets and other things, but I'll get them myself.

Gifts don't make the holiday. You do.

I guess Mariah Carrey was right - All I want for Christmas is you.